over

assalamualaikum

fellas, I am thinking to delete all of my accounts I have.

thinking to ask me why?

well, I don't know.

I have an 'allsudden unsupposed' emotion.

these several days, I keep thinking of my past faults.

I had enough of everything, and I am done with everything.

what kind of thing?

I don't know. I just, thinking of it, always.

and I just want to end it up.

and during these several weeks, 

I received two missed calls from an 'unknown number'.

are you here, mister? why you called me back?

you came and gone, as you wish. never say goodbye or anything simultaneous.

and when you are in Malaysia, you wish to speak to me.

why? I'm the only friend of yours in Malaysia?

you are charming enough to have a better person. 

I'm sorry. I need to forget you.

you are too good for me.

I'm still a kiddo. right? what did you expect from a kid like me?

I cannot. I am sorry.

let me forget about all of your promises, and you'll  forget about mine too. okay?

thanks.

I am thinking to remain silent.

for those who have read this, I am sorry.

Perhaps this is my last post

I just want to become as silent as I could,

as speechless as I could.

I would neglect, ignore what people around me would say,

it just me, it's about me. 

nothing's gonna be wrong with you. 

and my life, doesn't affected you at all. am I right?

friends, please throw away the feeling of sympathy against me. 

I'm not gonna need it. It makes me feel worthless, useless and hopeless.

I'm sorry for being so talkative, sorry if you, my friend, asking me for several explanation,

and I explained it in a so very fast talk. sorry.

I need to stop disrupting people, as I always did.

Stop depending on their words to support my back.

I'll stop it. don't worry.

you will live happily, freely, after this.

several people said that I am weird.

am I such a weirdo?

If I remain silent, will you stop calling me a weirdo?

If I am a chaotic and clumsy,

will I stop my habit by retained silent?

I wish I could be as someone else, but I am what I am.

If I'll be like you, who gonna be me?

I need some time out.

mister Shahrul Idham,

read this carefully, jot this to your heart,

pity to your fiance,

both of you are getting married.

we are good till here and forget about everything.

delete the 'hard disk' about me,

everything. reformat your memory, your mind.

I can't understand why you keep being so good against me.

cut it off. it have been 2 years, enough time to forget everything.

why you came looking for me back?

stop it. I gave up remember?

I don't need you. I had enough pretending I am okay hearing those insulting words from your fiance.

you will make things worsen. she thought I am the one who's looking for you.

no. I do forget about you. since then, I have a new thing across my mind.

I will only lay my love, towards my husband.

I am strong. I only need to stop all these uncontrolled situations.

may Allah bless you, all of you, my dear.

assalamualaikum

Fazlina Aminin Salim

in pain.